:: The Princess Diaries ::

:: 29.6.03 ::

went with nicole to see jack and ben up at summerfest. even though milwaukee is about an hour away from chicago, it's an entirely different world. it was my worst nightmare - summerfest was filled with loud and obnoxious teenagers wearing abercrombie and hollister. the whitest of white kids were speaking ebonics (have they seen themselves in the mirror lately?) and apparently, wisconsin's legal drinking age is 13 or something. i felt like i was in the hallways of a high school. you're probably saying, "but wait, debbie, you work in a high school." and my reply to that is, "yes, i do. and almost everyday i enter those halls is sheer torture. that's why i try not to come out of my classroom. 'cause when i do, i'm afraid something bad might happen - like me losing my mind and flipping out at them." but, the moments of hell were worth it. it's okay that the two guys in front of us insisted on blocking nicole's view. it's okay that the couple in front of us could not keep their hands off of each other. it's okay that the no talent guest dj kept passing and bumping us in the row behind us, so he could take some girl backstage. it's okay that people were making calls on their cellphones. it's okay because jack and ben put on a great show. jack's set was minimal and simple, and his performance was humble and pure - just him, his bassest, and his drummer playing their music. ben was passionate, powerful, and raw. he poured his heart into his songs and his music. fantastic. the bliss of their music made the pain of being surrounded by teenagers go away. thank you jack and ben for a wonderful night of music and making the trip worth the frightening flashbacks.

:: debbie 6/29/2003 12:18:00 am [+] ::
...

once again, i am not surprised, but i am quite disappointed. in fact, i am REALLY disappointed. but, what can i do? i guess i underestimated the ease and courtesy of modern communication. i am also quite surprised with myself. i usually don't give people as many chances as i did in this case. this is all a bit out of character for me, but the experience will help me to forget (i hope). but, before i am my oldself again, i must say "good-bye" for what i think will be forever (or at least, a really long time.)

:: debbie 6/26/2003 08:12:00 pm [+] ::
...

ahh.. summertime in chicago...the high temps with the sticky, humid air that suffocates and kills people. ahh... a fond childhood summer memory is the first time my parents turn on the a/c in the summer. when i was really young, i had to beg my parents to turn on the a/c. apparently, 84 degrees wasn't hot enough to turn on the juice. but, then, something wonderful happened. i developed asthma and it was easlily triggered by hot and humid weather. and since my loving parents didn't want me to suffocate and die, i got to decide when to turn on the a/c. all i needed to say was, "i'm having a hard time breathing" and they flipped the switch. so, you know i milked that. as i got older, my asthma went away and i started to build my tolerance for hot weather. but at the same time, my parents got older. and as my parents got (and still are getting) older, the more bothered they became by warm weather. so, even before i can request for the air to be turned on, they beat me to it. i love the smell and feel of cold, freon-fueled air in the summertime.

:: debbie 6/24/2003 10:59:00 pm [+] ::
...

since i wasn't allowed to put the beta fish (fighting fish) together in one bowl, i put the bowls next to one another to see what the fishies would do. after they finally saw one another, they flared their gills and tried to scare one another. so, here's my idea: get a bunch of beta fish together and have people place their bids on the fish. the last fish swimming wins. it's like cock fighting for beta fish. oh come on, they're just fish. thousands of them are born at once. i think we can spare a few beta fish.

:: debbie 6/23/2003 11:40:00 pm [+] ::
...

there's no better way to spend a gorgeous, chicago saturday afternoon than with a good friend and THE cutest three old at lincoln park zoo. except that pushing the stroller around made me feel very maternal.

another priceless moment: upon discovering the flat tire on debbie's ghetto fabulous car -- sun, mina, yoo jung, and debbie attempt to change the tire and put on the spare. with sun's experience in tire changing and the support of mina, yoo jung, and debbie, a valient effort was made. unfortunately, not much progress was made. how far did they get? uhm... the spare tire was found, taken out of the trunk, and put back.

:: debbie 6/22/2003 12:01:00 am [+] ::
...

making a mix is an art. you can't just shlop up some songs together, hand it to someone, and think it'll do. 'cause, it won't. a mix that isn't made with thought and precision is a crap mix. of course, not everyone will realize that though. only those who are attuned to good mixes will know a good mix from a crap mix. in my 24 years of life, i have heard my share of crap mixes. i have also heard my share of genius mixes (mostly from my brother.) in any case, i haven't made a mix in quite a long time. that is why in the middle of making one, i had to walk away from it and think about it some more. and so, after some more thought and with the right timing, i was able to complete the mix. and only after the recipient listens to it, will i know if i still have the "touch." --- it's no wonder why i like the novel and movie, high fidelity, so much.

:: debbie 6/20/2003 01:23:00 am [+] ::
...

closure --- it's a necessary evil and i hate it with all my heart.

:: debbie 6/19/2003 12:30:00 am [+] ::
...

nice nicole is telling doubtful debbie to give him the benefit of the doubt. optimistic nicole is telling pessimistic debbie that she never knows what might happen and there is still time. but, oh, learned debbie knows because past experience is dictating the future. the ending has been obvious since the very beginning. it's just that now, surrendered debbie is chosing to see and accept it all. wishful thinking has not been on hopeful debbie's side this past year, so realistic debbie is back to keeping her head out of the clouds and her feet planted on the ground.

:: debbie 6/17/2003 11:37:00 pm [+] ::
...

dinner and bubble tea at joy yee's, finding nemo, and the museum campus - a night out with the little (not so little anymore) cousins are always F-U-N! no, really, it is.


"for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through frist, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. at last it dawned on me that those obstacles were my life. this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. happiness is the way. so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. happiness is a journey, not a destination..." ~souza --amen, brother. tell it like it is...

:: debbie 6/13/2003 11:46:00 pm [+] ::
...

well, that's it. it's time to close up shop. just when i thought i was about to lose my mind, the school year came to an end. this past year, when people found out i was working and going to school full-time, i was asked if i was crazy. at the time, i just replied, "you gotta do what you gotta do." but, now that it's all over, i look back at it all and realize that yes, indeed, i was crazy.

:: debbie 6/09/2003 11:38:00 pm [+] ::
...

another year, another Anchor Program banquet. the night of the banquet is the one night that the kids really shine. they are well-dressed and well-groomed (for the most part) and are on their best behavior. pleasant conversations can be carried on with parents because they are tolerable and don't seem out of their minds. and parents are more than proud of their children and are able to put aside the "issues." and the sweat and tears of teachers are redeemed by the smiles on the kids' faces and by the good time everyone is having. and it's a night like this that makes all of the drama, confrontations, and struggles worth it. the Anchor banquet reminds me how lucky i am to be working where i am and with the people i do.


in high school, i never really had a crush on any of my teachers (and for good reason). but, as a high school teacher, i seem to have an ever so tiny, innocent, and benign crush on our principal. and he gave me a hug tonight. tee hee hee!

:: debbie 6/02/2003 10:25:00 pm [+] ::
...

talking to sun while she was waiting at o'hare for 5 hours -
debbie: ...get this: my dad was going grocery shopping for his store, so i asked him to get me some coke and he said, "no." so, i came here to get some.
sun: he said, "no?"
debbie: yeah, he said that i shouldn't be drinking so much of it. and when i said that he buys my brother squirt all of the time, he said "there's no caffeine in squirt." like my brother doesn't get his caffeine from other drinks.
sun: oh, coke. i thought you were talking about coke, like the drug. i was thinking, "why would debbie ask her dad to get her coke?"
debbie: yeah, i asked my dad to get me crack and i was upset that he wouldn't get it for me.

:: debbie 6/01/2003 10:52:00 pm [+] ::
...