:: The Princess Diaries ::

:: 30.7.03 ::

okay, so there are three things i've been pondering: 1) how and when can i go to the UK to live? 2) should i send in a tape for "real world" (please keep your comments to yourselves)? and 3) should i give this xanga thing a try?

1) all right. so, if you didn't already know or if i haven't already told you, i believe i am destined to live in the united kingdom. but, when and how this is all supposed to happen, i don't know. i've been getting these postgraduate prospectus things (university catalogs) and it only makes me want to go there more. but, do i want to go to school there? do i want to work there? or, do i want to do both? i just don't know! but, i need to be there, eventually. i can feel it! besides, what better way to meet my future english boyfriend and/or husband? 'cause God knows the guys in the states aren't making the cut.

2) eversince my undergrad days, i've wanted to at least send in a tape. okay, true, having every minute of your life taped isn't the most fun thing. but, living in a gorgeous house/loft/mansion/chateau/renovated firehouse/etc. and working a cool job (writing for frommers/radio show/community outreach/tv show/etc.) would be freakin' awesome! but, in undergrad, i was too scared and timid. but, now that i'm all daring and such, why not? i would be the "innocent, goodie-goodie" roommate who needed to escape her plain-jane life and turned out to have a major attitude and partied until the wee hours of the morning (aw yeah!). i would totally take time off from work and school (much to the dismay of my parents) to do something like this. but, the cutoff age is 24. i'm 24 right now. and by the time the big wigs at mtv and murray/bunim got my tape and considered me out of pity and to fulfill the minority role, i would be too old. wow. who would have every thought 25 would be too old?

3) i actually have a xanga account. a friend once recommended that i try it. so, it's there and basically all setup. all i have to do is put in my entries. okay, i admit it might be interesting to see what people would say about my entries. it MIGHT be interesting. but then, after i realized i wasn't getting any comments or "e-props", got some inane and insulting (in-direct, of course) comment, and/or less people were reading than i initially thought, i'd become bitter and start ripping on more people. that wouldn't be pleasant. it might be entertaining or amusing (to me, of course), but not pleasant. must put more thought into this one also.

so, you see, even though i am currently not studying or working (in other words, doing nothing), i still have some very important things to think about.

:: debbie 7/30/2003 11:12:00 pm [+] ::
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for as long as i can remember, my mom hated me being tan. when i was much younger, i was always running around outside and was dark. she couldn't stand it (she's very pale herself). she would say things to me hoping it would discourage me from getting dark (because i can really control it.) of course, i never listened. well, one would think that spending five days in mexico would make a person tan. i think my mom was hoping i would somehow be the exception to this. well, once again, i have disappointed her. i knew she would be fixated on my darkness and say something. and in her non-threatening, nagging, irritating way, she has been spewing the comments. upon my arrival home, the first thing she said to me was, "you're black" (in korean, of course). she then proceeds to ask me, "are you the only one who got dark?" yes, mother. we all spent time in the hot mexican sun and i'm the only one who got dark. and today, she said to me, "what if it doesn't wear off?" she makes it seem like i've done some terrible thing to myself causing permanent damage. why must she nag me about the things about myself that i cannot control? she doesn't want to admit that this is yet, another thing i inherited from my dad. so, along with dating and weight, my mother is no longer allowed to talk about the color of my skin.

:: debbie 7/29/2003 11:22:00 pm [+] ::
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hola mis amigos! i've come back from mi vacacion de mexico. aye caramba! oh man, it was hot! how do people survive in mexico without shriveling up? of course, the five of us wanted to get tan, so we endured the extreme mexican heat and sunlight. and as the other girls went boogie-boarding, parasailing, kayaking, swimming, etc., i chose not to. so, yes, everything went according to plan. for five days and four nights, i laid out in the sun, ate, drank frosty beverages, laid out in the sun, ate, and drank some more. i did get bored after awhile and found it quite difficult to fall asleep when the temperature is 110 degrees, but i was content. 'cause now, i am tan with a terrible sunburn and tan lines to prove it. but of course, as with any trip and extended amount of time spent with the ladies, some odd and humorous things happened to us. everywhere we went, we were asked if we were canadian and if we were sisters. so, that's what the five of us became - canadian sisters. one guy even had the cajones to say something about our "father" - "wow, lots of coo-chee-coo-chee for your father." what did you say about our daddy? no one makes fun of my dad. we were able to get used to the comments and took control of that game. mina and i also discovered that nearly anything will stick to me when i am hot and sticky - like large stone pendants and paper weights. not only did they stick, they stayed on me until taken off. also, having a sand fight against mina is a bad idea. wet sand hurts when it's pelted at you. and somehow, in the mix of it all, we managed to get hit on by a group of adolescent boys. no joke. they were all like 12 years old. i want to believe that one day, they will remember that night and be utterly embarrassed. and oh, when asked, we didn't know how to speak spanish (even though 4/5ths of us took at least 4 years of spanish.) good times were had in playa de carmen, mexico.

next destination: naples, florida - 8/3-8/10

one other thing: i was debating on whether or not i should add this to my list or not. i was hoping that this was not effected, but it has. i tried my best keeping this an everyday, ordinary thing, but i can't. so, the latest not-so everyday and not-so ordinary thing? the sport of soccer.

:: debbie 7/29/2003 12:24:00 am [+] ::
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!viva a la mexico!

:: debbie 7/24/2003 03:28:00 am [+] ::
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today was my last day at the UIC Assessment Clinic. 90 hours, all done. i had my first parent conference too. oh, the anxiety. it went well considering it was my first. but, it was so heart-wrenching at times. how do you tell a parent that her child's problems are a result of his biological mother's herione addiction and that he'll probably have these problems for the rest of his life? how do you tell her that there is only so much that she can do and that she has to let the rest go? how do you tell her that the her kid's school system sucks and they're letting him slip through the cracks? man, and i thought i had it hard.

i must say though, that so far in my graduate school career, this was one of my favorite classes. i actually used the information we were taught in class and i was able to help someone out at the same time. wow! who would've thought grad school could be so practical?

all right, so with all put behind me... the day is almost near. i think i can smell the beach, the mexican gulf water, the hot, humid mexican air, the tostados and quesadillas, the frosty beverages, and montezuma's revenge! !aye-caramba!

:: debbie 7/23/2003 12:10:00 am [+] ::
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while my mom is watching vh1's 100 sexiest artists (20-1) ---
mom: young joo-ya! (my korean name)
me: yeah?
mom: yeh (translation: her. - talking about j.lo)
me: what about her?
mom: yeh (her).
me: yeah, j.lo. what about her?
mom: jeh ee-puh? (is she pretty?)
me: yeah, but i don't like her.
mom: puerto rican ya? (is she puerto rican?)
me: yeah, i think so.
mom: (to my dad) jeh, mee-gook-ah-ee hoe-goo... (she's getting married to an american guy)
me: yeah, ben affleck.
mom: kul-rae (yeah).
me: i don't like either one of them.
mom: yeah, they're going to break up. i know it. (in her fobby accent)
me: yeah, i think so too.
mom: no, they are. i know they are going to break up. (in her fobby accent)

so, not only is my mom the hoola-hoop champion, she also has special insight to the stars.

:: debbie 7/20/2003 09:21:00 pm [+] ::
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"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer" - Rainer Maria Rilke

:: debbie 7/20/2003 12:55:00 am [+] ::
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another reason i want to runaway to england? orlando bloom (in non-elf form.) so much better than, oh, i don't know... soccer players.

:: debbie 7/19/2003 11:47:00 pm [+] ::
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i took in my ghetto fab car for the air emissions test. i always get nervous when i take it in. it's an old (really old) car and though it is fabulous, it's also ghetto fabulous. so, i always think the guy is going to bring the printout and say, "your car failed." and then, the steams of tears will flow. but, today, on this beautiful, sunny, mild summer day, the guy came up to my window with the printout and said, "your car... passed." yay! feelin' pretty good and like I passed some test, i cranked up the beastie boys and drove home. and for passing, i treated my car to a little windshield wiper fluid. hey, only the best for my ghetto fabulous car. on a day like this, i couldn't be any prouder of my ghetto fab car.

:: debbie 7/18/2003 02:08:00 pm [+] ::
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i have some things i need to add to the not-so-ordinary and not-so-everyday list: the fullerton ave./western ave. exit off of I94, BJ's and baker's square's french silk pie, "with or without you" and "in god's country" by U2, gangs of new york, walden pond, the "city" of milwaukee

i spent some time with yoo jung tonight. after hinting for a ride to water tower and grabbing a bit to eat, we decided to walk back. that's right! we walked ALL THE WAY from water tower to division and wells. AND THEN, we walked ALL THE WAY to wells and north ave. to the 24 hr. starbucks (the 2nd best place in chicago). after starbucks, we walked ALL THE WAY BACK to wells and division. go us. okay, and can i just say that the 24 hr. starbucks is fantastic? it's a dream come true for me. hurray for the person who thought to keep it open ALL OF THE TIME, my hero.

after a little heart-to-heart with yoo jung, i finally admitted to myself that as much as i was bothered and annoyed and want to let go, i can't. i can't let go and i want to. i need to. the other ones were so much easier to let go of. they were so easy to forget and put behind me. so, why not this time? sun, yooj, and nicole insist that i forget and move on. in my head, i know they're right and it seems like the logical, sensible thing to do. so, why can't i?

:: debbie 7/18/2003 12:51:00 am [+] ::
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sun yong's thoughts on guys and on a certain situation of mine -- "Remember, no settling. God has someone great in mind for you. Why drink Folgers when there's a Caramel Macchiato waiting for you? (Or why wash with White Rain when there's Biolage available?) Just my two cents."

mmm... caramel macchiato...

:: debbie 7/17/2003 11:33:00 am [+] ::
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Sometimes everyday ordinary things get mixed with certain experiences and memories. Then, the everyday ordinary things become not-so everyday or not-so ordinary. They have special meaning (good or bad) and every time you see or hear these things, you're reminded of the particular memory or experience tied to it. These are some of everyday ordinary things that are my not-so everyday and not-so ordinary things: grape hi-c juice boxes, rocky road ice cream, sunsets at Gillson Beach, Miss Saigon, the M.I.T. reading room, the sport of lacrosse, the Walgreens on the corner of Milwaukee and Oakton, Moonstruck Cafe, Famous Dave's at U of I, the neon walkway in O'hare's United terminal, Fear Factor, Ron Segee, "Cherish" by The Association, Batman, gargoyles, anything by or about C.S. Lewis, songs by The Cure, Leicester Square in London, terminal 3 at Heathrow Airport, tubs of butter-flavored topping and salt with popcorn, forest green and teal honda accords, and the state of Iowa...

okay, i realize that some (most) of these things aren't that everyday for me anymore, but whatever. we're not being picky.

:: debbie 7/16/2003 01:02:00 am [+] ::
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way back when, i was told about this website from a certain school regarding a certain person. while reading this website was interesting and at times, amusing, it usually made me irritated with a certain person. then, for awhile, i wasn't able to read this website and soon forget about it, but i still got irritated with a certain person. now it seems, i've "stumbled" across this website and am now able to read it. as much as i want to forget a certain person, it'll be mighty difficult to not read this website once in awhile and perhaps, become irritated with a certain person all over again. when did i become so obsessed and nosey?

:: debbie 7/15/2003 12:16:00 am [+] ::
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okay, so i think i've been slacking on keeping y'all up-to-date with the going-on's of me (i know, it's breaking your heart.) so, i'll try to catch y'all up, cliffs notes-style. ready? here we go...

1. phyllis and phil's wedding has come and gone. beautiful bride and handsome groom. and it turned out well, if i do say so myself. fun times. and it has nothing to do with that i was the coordinator.
2. i've discovered something that bothers me more than spoiled teenagers. it's spoiled teenagers who drive landrover discoveries. the sight and the thought of the two together make me irate. and it has nothing to do with that i'm the one who should be driving that car.
3. my dad's watching "gangs of new york" right now. even though i normally wouldn't mind watching a movie for the second time, this time i won't. i hated that movie. i hated leonardo decaprio. i hated cameron diaz. i did like daniel day lewis, but i still can't stand that movie. and it has nothing to do with the person i saw that movie with.
4. TEN MORE DAYS UNTIL MEXICO!!!! if you ask me where in mexico, i won't be able to tell you. that's not what matters right now. all that matters is that i'm going to mexico. and then, a week later, i'm off to florida! if you ask me where, i'll be able to tell you - naples. summer is great, isn't it? and it has nothing to do with that i'm a teacher and i get summers off.

:: debbie 7/14/2003 10:24:00 pm [+] ::
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so, i checked out this xanga thing again. and sure, people replying to your post is nice... if that's what you want. i don't know if i want to read what people think of what i've posted. 'cause no offense, if i really cared what people thought, i would probably ask and/or think twice about what i post. besides, sometimes these replies are like "jahn-sro-rhee" or like my mother's nagging. i can do without that.

:: debbie 7/09/2003 12:13:00 am [+] ::
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