:: The Princess Diaries ::

:: 31.10.03 ::

there are three major events in the Anchor Program: thanksgiving breakfast at walker brothers, the anchor banquet, and the pumpkin carving contest. unfortunately, several students weren't able to make it today to carve pumpkins. two students were out because they made suicide threats and their parents had zero reaction to it. i can't think of anything that makes me more upset and sadder than parents who harm or let harm happen to their children.

in all of the years i've worked with children with disabilities, i've had my share of heartache and disgust. but none come near to the wretched and sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. there was an incident this week that made me so outraged that i was brought to tears. because under ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCE should a parent threatened to kill themself and take the child with - IN FRONT OF THE CHILD! i don't care how hard and inconvenient life has been because of your kid. be frustrated - yes. be bitter - fine. be angry - okay. but, DO NOT talk about ending the both of your lives, 'cause you are not at liberty to make that child's life any harder. no wonder kids are so messed up these days. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

two students making suicide threats in two weeks - we're just scratching the surface. and it's only two months into the school year.

:: debbie 10/31/2003 09:40:00 pm [+] ::
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in my line of work, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. and usually, you can polish off and save the apples despite the bruises, dents, cuts, and insecticides. but, sometimes, the tree the apple fell from has not nurtured and has done so much damage. and all you do is try to keep the apple from rotting. even if it means calling the proper authorities.

:: debbie 10/22/2003 11:11:00 pm [+] ::
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it's odd how when a person you like is blamed/attacked/targeted by another, you feel so incredibly offended - whether or not you're directly involved. in some cases, you may have never met this person. it's just admiration from afar. but, once you hear, read, or see him or her attacked, the blood boils. for some over-protective and perhaps, sick reason, you feel like you're being attacked. your face gets hot and red and your temper rises. all you want to do is defend and throw some punches back. and if i were a violent person who acted out, things would get real ugly right about now...

:: debbie 10/16/2003 10:44:00 pm [+] ::
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i never really understood how or why guys got so attached to sports teams. and how when they would refer to the team, they would say, "we" or "our" or "us," as if they were on the teams themselves. i never grasped why guys would get so upset when their team lost and where the anger or depression came from... until now, that is.

i barely slept last night, because i was so upset about the cubs losing. when i woke up, i thought for a brief moment that i had dreamt it all. and that, perhaps, the cubs still had a chance to go to the world series. on my way to work, i was listening to 720 and they were talking about the cubs. the sportscasters' conversation was making me so sad. tears were welling up in my eyes. then, as i came into my classroom, all of the kids were talking about the game, how disappointing it was, and asked me if i was sad. and i just had to tell them i couldn't discuss it anymore because i was getting so upset. there's a picture of mark prior hanging up in our room and every time i looked at it, i just felt so bad. it really broke my heart. but, as with other things, time will heal.

:: debbie 10/16/2003 04:43:00 pm [+] ::
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it's not right, i tell you. not right at all. after having a hard and upsetting week, i just wanted to see the cubs go to the world series. that's all i was asking for. was that too much to ask for? yes, it was a good, long season for the cubs. and they really came a long way, but come on! this series was supposed to belong to chicago, not florida. and on top of that, i was really hoping to see farnsworth and prior pitch for another week. now what? the spring seems so far away... so, once again, my heart is broken. i must go and cry myself to sleep now...

:: debbie 10/15/2003 11:43:00 pm [+] ::
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i've taken it upon myself to change a friend's name to "jack." i have nothing against the name his parents gave him, it's just that i like the way "jack" sounds with his last name. his initials would stay the same, so no big whoop. but, if i decide to actually call him, "jack," i should probably tell him, huh? and if that's the case, he might think i'm off my rocker. then, i wouldn't hear from him for another 3 to 4 months. and we don't want that. well, at least, i don't.

:: debbie 10/14/2003 11:38:00 pm [+] ::
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i like to learn the hard way. i can't help it - i'm sadistic that way. i don't enjoy it, but sometimes, that's the only way i'll really know. so, the "trust me, i know" and "i just don't want to see you get hurt" stuff usually means nothing to me. it's not that i don't appreciate advice or hearing what other people's opinions. i just don't use it, unless it's necessary. so, save it for someone who'll listen, 'cause chances are, i'm not - unless i ask you.

:: debbie 10/08/2003 10:08:00 am [+] ::
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honestly, what is going on here? is this some cruel joke to toy with my head? 'cause it's not funny, at all. i should have put this all behind me months ago. i was getting so close. and of course, when i least expect it, there it is, staring right at me. i'm probably making it a bigger issue than it is, but i can't help it. it's happening and i've got to deal with it - even if i don't want to.

:: debbie 10/06/2003 11:50:00 pm [+] ::
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it's a great time to be living in chicago - thanks to dusty and the boys.

:: debbie 10/06/2003 12:58:00 am [+] ::
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somethings never change. when i least expect it, there is it. it's sort of a bittersweet thing though. but these days, it's the last thing i need. honestly. and i know i wanted closure, but i was so close in just forgetting and putting it all behind me. and granted, it's probably nothing and is harmless. but, i'm a woman. i'm allowed to be dramatic.

:: debbie 10/01/2003 10:57:00 am [+] ::
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