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:: 19.5.05 ::

my boys

:: debbie 5/19/2005 11:04:00 pm [+] ::
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:: 1.5.05 ::

when it comes to other people, i have more than enough faith. i am able to hope for the best for others. and when the people around me have a grim outlook, i am able to (surprisingly) have a positive one. i hope for the best in others' situations and hardships. i fully believe that things work out for the best - for others. but, when the tables are turned, i am drier than dry. something inside of me doesn't allow me to believe things are going to work out. hope doesn't exist in my hardships. when faced with a difficult situation, all i see is the difficulty. i don't believe for myself - when it really matters.
i'm not really sure what this all is. maybe i'm trying to be "real." maybe i'm trying to protect myself from disappointment. maybe i don't believe i deserve a happy ending. whatever it is, it's really taking its toll on me.

Restore my soul, refresh my heart
renew my life in every part...
Relight the fire that burned so strong
reminding me what You have done
My one request is to be changed
so lead me to the Cross again...
So find me there Lord
and help me stay in true surrender...
- Restore My Soul (Andi Rozier)

:: debbie 5/01/2005 09:28:00 pm [+] ::
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