:: The Princess Diaries ::

:: 16.10.05 ::

my drive home sundays are usually just time for me to listen to music and enjoy the open suburban roads. but, today's drive wasn't so peaceful.
as i was driving home, some thoughts entered my mind. and, as i thought about them, they became realizations. and as reality sunk in, i began to think about my escape plan - how was i going to get out of this place? this is not the first time i've thought about how to escape. in previous times, my escape plans were ruined partly to my attachments and partly to the ties i kept (and didn't want to let go of.) it never had to do with being completely on my own. that was really the least of my concerns. but, this time, i decided attachments and ties weren't going to be a problem. i'll find another special ed. class to teach. i'll find another team to coach. i'll find another church to go to. i'll find another starbucks to frequent. i'll find another group of people to call friends. i'll find another place to call home. these would not replace what i had. that's not the purpose of escape. the purpose wasn't to replace, but to get away from the old and find the new. the better fit. my attachments have detached and i can do without the ties.

i'm free to go now.

of course, my escaping wouldn't involve abandoning. i would fulfill my duties for the remainder of the school year. so, i have time. maybe, in that time, the busyness of work will distract me from my plan. but, it'll only be a matter of time until the plan resurfaces.
i've always said that there's only two things that can keep me where i am. thankfully, the first isn't an issue yet. and, it doesn't look like the second is going to happen. so, that leaves me with only one choice:

escape.

:: debbie 10/16/2005 11:22:00 pm [+] ::
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