:: The Princess Diaries ::

:: 29.5.06 ::

i've gone a good part of my teenage and adult life pretty self-reliant. i used to pride myself on being so independent. i don't like asking for help because to me, it's a sign of weakness. it's also a pretty good way to hurt one's pride. so, no matter how hard the task or how big the obstacle, i did it on my own - even if it meant getting a few bumps and bruises or sleepless nights. but, i think that's beginning to change - but, not by my choice.
i'm starting to see that i can't do this thing called life on my own. my pride is being stripped of me slowly and in perhaps the most humiliating way. but, it can't be fought anymore. i can't take care of myself by myself. my next days aren't mine and i can't say what's going to happen. and that thought scares me. it's so much more than i can handle and it's more than i want to handle. but, this is what's been handed to me. and this time, i'm going to hand it right back and let Him take care of me.

:: debbie 5/29/2006 10:34:00 pm [+] ::
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i guess i've had better days. i just don't remember them. it's kind of like my sleeping habits. i don't remember ever waking up feeling well-rested or refreshed. that might be a reason why i sleep so much (along with wanting to avoid life.) whatever the case, i've come to accept that my life is not meant to be ideal or easy or anything close to it. things have never come easy for me. and really, they probably never will.

:: debbie 5/04/2006 10:50:00 pm [+] ::
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